Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
