Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
and you fell through a lawn chair
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He has the fingertips of a God
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
