Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
