Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
