69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
