id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
