Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
