'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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