Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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