If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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