You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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