brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So squirting runs in the family.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I AM VODKA MAN
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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