You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
