i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
