Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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