Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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