He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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