The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
