She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
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I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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