I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
