after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
