I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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