I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
