what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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