How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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