you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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