I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
