So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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