She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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