you would pick up someone in the library
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
