I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
