Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
