i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize