I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
