i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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