my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
