do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
