At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
