would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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