so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize