Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
