Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Randomize
