Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
