Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
