Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
