i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
