i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
