Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
