theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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