i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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