By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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