OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
