when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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