I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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