Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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