we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
