thus making me awesome and them whores
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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