youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize